is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
