Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
