sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
