You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
organizing the empties. That sober.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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