Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
