u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
