CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Randomize
