do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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