So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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