There is no way he is gay with that hair.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
