when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
