I can tuck mytits in my pants
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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