Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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