he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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