I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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