he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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