Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
