Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
