i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Panties = found
Randomize
