you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
