His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize