while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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