Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
