I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
