'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
