5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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