He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
