just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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