Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
