Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
