went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
