i was born a porn star she said
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
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