Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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