I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
