I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
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