Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
