The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
