hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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