We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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