i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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