Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
