Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
