im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
