Im at strip club and am horny
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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