I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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