well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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