ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
