hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
