I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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