He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
