i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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