i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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