Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
