they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
