I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
