Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
