Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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