this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
