apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize