she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
